THE ZETA SESSION is the session that begins after The Omega Session's legacy. There will be 8 humans and 10 trolls. Other species participating is currently unknown. Other sessions: Fandomstuck and Alphabound
Episode 5 -A new beginning-Edit
A young lady stands alone on a hill. She has been waiting for over a week for SOMETHING IMPORTANT to happen, and she hopes that it will happen TODAY. Her eyes are fixed on the sky.
What is her name?
She's clearly not impressed with your choice in naming.
Your name is ASHLYNN FAE. You appreciate HULA DANCING, though you think any kind of DANCE is good enough for you. You enjoy WARM WEATHER and MAKING SWIMSUITS OUT OF WHATEVER IS ON HAND, which is a good thing because it's hella hot where you live.
Today you are waiting for SOMETHING IMPORTANT. Namely, you expect something to arrive here.
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of November, 2012, is the date scheduled for the launch of a highly exclusive playtesting experience for a much anticipated game. The young man is expecting to find this game in his mailbox today. He is expecting the game to be enclosed in a pair of envelopes, and printed on these envelopes, he is expecting to find his name!
What do you suppose the name on the envelopes will be?
You there, with the naming device: Get off my planet.
Your name is Elton. As it happens, your birthday was LAST WEEK. That doesn't matter, though, because the game is released today. You enjoy SWORDPLAY, CARTOONING, CASUAL GAMING, and are a huge fan of everything DISNEY.
What will you do while you wait for the post?
Elton: Stare long and hard at the clock, awaiting 1:30.
You proceed to stare at the clock. The time is now 8:52.
Elton: Evaluate your life choices
Elton: Examine fetch modus
It's the BUTTON MODUS and it's an extremely handy little inventory widget you got for your birthday last week.
Elton: Captchalogue It!
You stick the BUTTON MODUS in your... uh... BUTTON MODUS?
Elton: Get hat.
You captchalogue your FAVORITE HAT, which is also your ONLY HAT. You spent basically your ENTIRE CHILDHOOD in this hat, pretending to be Micky Mouse and stuff.
Elton: Look out window.
You've been goofing around your room all day, trying to waste time in waiting for the sburb game to arrive, checking the clock. How long does it take to ship a simple package?? You take another peek out the window, just in case.
It's still not there. But there is your mom and dad's car.
What do you mean, "be Ashlynn?" You have always been Ashlynn. You've never been anyone other than Ashlynn.
What was it you were up to again? Oh right, You were about to find out if the package is arriving when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.
Ashlynn: Look up
It feels like you've been waiting years for this to happen. Really, though, it's only been a couple of months.
You were a little scared that they wouldn't, but your FRIENDS FROM PESTERCHUM finally pulled through. You're sorry for ever doubting them. Look at that beautiful blue package fall.
Ashlynn: Captchalogue it.
You captchalogue the REALLY IMPORTANT PACKAGE into your SYLLADEX, which is equipped with a Survival Modus. Basically it comes equipped with everything you need to survive in the wild as long as it isn't a technological.
Ashlynn: Return home.
Elton: Exit to the hallway.
You are suddenly Elton again. Or, you suddenly keep being Elton. Who knows for sure??
Before you left the bedroom you switched to the Oswald t-shirt you got for your birthday, because its more comfortable.
Elton: Examine posters.
These are two of your parents' favorite movies of all time. You've kind of gotten your Disney obsession from them, so it's natural that they have the biggest collection of Disney memorabilia in the world. One day your dad will turn the house into a museum and you'll all travel to California and get jobs at Disney Studios.
If only your didn't spend ticket money on every single 'innovation' he saw.
Elton: Go downstairs.
You run down the stairs and ask your mom and dad respectively if they've seen the game as you walk past the open doors to their rooms and enter the living room. They shake their heads to this and your heart is broken. Slowly but surely you enter the living room. You're bro is absent from his natural habitat (the couch) because he's busy being a sleepy bum. You step into the downstairs bathroom, to check and see if your bro is hiding it. What now?
Turn on game system.
Ah, the Nintendo Wii. So many things happened to this living room thanks to it. Family bonds made stronger. Friendships broken by petty arguments about which character you wanted to use on Mario Party.
You actually don't feel like messing with it now, but it's a nice bit of time-wasting to think about it. You actually find it sort of funny it isn't a Wii U now. Your dad is tech crazy, and updates everything in the house as soon as it comes out, even if he never uses it.
Ohmygod, Sburb is here, Sburb is here, Sburb is here!
Damn, you can be really childish sometimes.
DELIVERY MAN: I'm looking for Arthur Summers is your dad home?
ELTON: Ya he's here, wait a moment while I go get him.
The Delivery man hands you the clip board.
Oh. Guess your dad did order a Wii U.
Go get your dad.
That's going to be very difficult. Your dad always has his eyes glued to whatever "technological advancement" he has in the garage. Dude needs a hobby.
Elton: Enter garage.
Elton is walking into the garage, where his dad is kneeling next to a large power saw.
ELTON: *ahem*, Hey, Dad. What'cha up to?
FATHER: Trying to figure out why this isn't turning on when I plug it in.
Elton: Assist your parental unit.
Elton flips an on/off switch between setting several times.
FATHER: Ah so that was the problem!
FATHER: ...You looked troubled son, what's on your mind?
ELTON: It nothing dad, I just came to tell you that the Wii U you ordered came.
FATHER: Hmm? Ah, yes, the Wii U. (i can't believe Elton saw that! it was supposed to be a surprise!)
ELTON: Uh, dad? The delivery guy is still waiting for you to sign for it.
FATHER: Oh I clear forgot!
Elton: Hand the clipboard to parental figure.
You return the signed clipboard to the delivery man and get the package then throw it on the couch.
Well that was easy.
Elton: Slink upstairs before your dad can ask you to help him install the cursed device.
You do so gladly, too irritated to want to work.
Message a friend.
You sit down at your computer, opening Pesterchum.
zippityDooda [ZD] began pestering lewisCarroll [LC] at 7:15 AM.
[ZD]: hey man
[LC]: hey buddy, how's it goin?
[ZD]: the sburb games is supposed to come out today right?
[LC]: you know it! man I'm stoked to see the new stuff they've added.
[ZD]: like what?
[LC]: cheat codes, a new team system, and a special prize if you win the game.
[ZD]: wow that's awesome! did you check your mail yet to see if its in yet?
[LC]: no not really... I've been too busy jogging around the neighborhood.
[ZD]: oh no.. I hear he delivery guy drive by.. maybe it doesn't come out today.
[LC]: it will come Elton, all you have to do is be patient. cya later bro.
[ZD]: bye man.
zippityDooda [ZD] ceased pestering lewisCarroll [LC] at 7:17 AM.
Elton: Take a peek out your window.
It looks as though the mailman with your Sburb still hasn't come yet.
Elton: Have a Cola.
Okay, no. You can't do that. The reason why has a story to go with it. A long, embarrassing, and unsanitary tale...
Once upon a time, you were at a friend's house. You were about eleven years old, and your friend was celebrating his birthday, for he had just achieved the ripe old age of twelve.
Your friend kindly offered you a can of Coca-Cola. Being completely forbidden from drinking any kind of soft drink at home, you gladly accepted, taking the can from your friend...
LewisCarroll: Reveal yourself.
Yeah, if Elton wants to dramatize the time a soda gave him severe indigestion, he can do it on his own time.
Your name is JAKE LIDDELL, but you prefer JAKEY. You have a love of METAL MUSIC, and are good enough to perform for your friends from time to time. Compensation, adequate. It is a chilly autumn morning. You are feeling particularly hard-boiled today.
What will you do?
Jakey: Pick up your guitar and shred some metal.
You pick up YOUR LAPTOP instead and attempt to shred metal with it, but YOUR LAPTOP is not an instrument.
You feel like a great fool. Besides, your real guitar is a priceless memento given to you by your late father and signed by Metallica's lead singer, James Hetfield. You would never dare touch it ever.
Jakey: Head downstairs.
Jakey is visible inside his window. The camera zooms out to reveal a house that's rather smallish by Homestuck standards.
Downstairs? What downstairs?
Jakey: Head to the living room.
Ah, yes. This is a homely little spot, with a comfortable couch, a TV and an XBOX, numerous REMOTES, TOYS, and OTHER USEFUL ARTIFACTS all within arms reach.
Okay, you admit it, it's kind of a dump.
Jakey: Log on to Xbox Live, there are noobs to be rescued!
You would do that, but the XBOX is missing several components, notably a POWER CORD!
Jakey: Play Power Cord on guitar.
That's a power CHORD, dumbass. If you want to use the Xbox, you'll have to find the actual power cord through an extended series of useless shenanigans!
Jake peers under the TV stand.
Or, of course, you could just do that.
Jakey: Plug in the Xbox.
Jakey: Commence playing Call of Duty, there are noobs to be pwned!
Call of Duty is not part of your gaming library! You've only got a few games, such as Minecraft (you'd have gotten it for PC, if the computer wasn't a piece of junk) and Street Fighter number whatever, Today, however, you're receiving another game in the mail, if the post office doesn't bungle their delivery and let it sit for a few days before sending it to their neighbors instead.
Jakey: Commence playing Minecraft, there are things to be built!
You begin the long, tedious task of attempting to find enough diamonds to build a house made out of the precious material.
The task of wandering the caves begins to bore you. You fall asleep mid-game.
Jakey: Behold Prospit.
You behold the golden city in its bright golden glory.
It's very golden.
Somehow knowing full well you can fly, you start walking down a narrow street, looking around. The denizens seem to become excited by your presence, though none of them approach you.
Wait who's that in the over there?
Who? There's dozens of people over there. Be more specific.
The human with the glasses, dark blonde hair, in the wheel chair with the injured leg.
Can't really see how you could miss him. Perhaps you should see whats his deal.
JAKEY: hey, you over there.
Elton: Search pesterChum contacts.
You pull out your cell phone and start browsing your contacts.
Jakey has become idle for some reason, so you guess you won't be chatting with him.
You decide to pick one of your stranger pen-friends. By 'strange' you mean 'acts unusual sometimes.' You are certain she is a perfectly normal human being. She and you don't often talk, but now is as good a time as any to contact her, you guess.
zippityDooda [ZD] began pestering humanWantobe [HW] at 8:52 A.M.
[ZD]: how's it going?
[HW]: Everything's going gr3at fellow human!
[HW]: *great. Have you started the session with your fri3nds yet?
[ZD]: well, we would have already, if that crap excuse for a postal system would do their jobs properly.
[ZD]: i don't have my copy, and i don't think jakey has his copy, either.
[ZD]: so what about you, aren't you getting the game?
[HW]: Oh we have, I mean, we're going at your time, I m3an...
[HW]: Dang time trav3l speech is hard...
[HW]: *mean and travel
[ZD]: time travel?
[ZD]: you mean you've, like, started already?
[ZD]: i heard this game was supposed to be kinda weird like that.
[HW]: Oh no I said too much... w3ll anyways you'll need to be finding other people who are playing the game and start splitting them up into teams. It's the only way your serv3r can handle so many people.
[HW]: *well and server
[HW]: Um.. sorry but I have to leave you now, my friends are pestering me, p3ace.
humanWantobe [HW] ceased pestering zippityDooda [ZD] at 8:53 A.M.
Dang it. She's always all weird like that, just sort of vanishing. She claims to be up to all this weird time shit, but you never really see any proof.
Elton: Check the mailbox.
You go outside, out into the front yard.
Gee, it's abnormally chilly out here.
Well, the mailbox is still empty. Might as well just sit inside until it arrives.
Elton: Retrieve GameBuddy from brother's room.
You enter your brother's dark room and find the sburb disk shone under a lamp.
Well, would you look at that. Sburb's been here the whole time. Your bro must have grabbed it and kept it himself, because he obviously thought it would be funny.
That clever little sneak.
Elton: Retrieve disk.
you tip-toe quietly but it doesn't save you from your brother's ambush.
IT'S A TRAP!
It is too late! Your much larger, stronger bro has pinned you against the wall!
ELTON: Hey, come on, man! I just want my game!
You throw Elton from the room with little effort.
Elton: Create Distraction.
Hmm. Maybe you could take something of your bro's and hide it.
Elton: Survey kitchen.
You look around, hunting for something your brother would be pissed about if you stole it.
Elton: Take Bro's wallet and put it in freezer.
Let's see here, your bro has about eighty dollars, his driver's license, a gym membership card, and a few coupons.
You send it all into a frigid exile. You could also say that he'll be missing his cold hard cash.
Elton: Bait Bro.
ELTON: Hey, bro, come out here.
ELTON: I hid your wallet.
Having punched you in the face for your offense, Bro heads down the hall in hunt of his wallet. You are certain he will be back to beat your ass. Better hurry.
Shit, he moved it. Your ass has never been in more danger.
Elton: Make haste, he will be back soon!
Elton enters the bedroom and captchalogues the cd.
Elton: Make your way to the bedroom.
As you enter, your brother can be heard from downstairs tearing the kitchen and living room apart looking for his wallet.
ELTON: Check the freezer, Bro!
Elton: Shut the door, your ass is at stake!
You slam the door really hard, lock it, and shove a chair up against it.
Elton: You have the game, now tell your friends!
zippityDooda [ZD] began a group chat with heatedAdventurer [HA], humanWantobe [HW], and lewisCarroll [LC] at 9:11 A.M.
[ZD]: hi everybody! I've finally gotten my copy of the sburb game.
[LC]: dude, i was having the weirdest dream, and this stupid message woke me up.
[LC]: it was, like, a lucid dream or something.
[LC]: apparently those only happen to people like six times.
[LC]: and guess who just wasted one of mine?
[ZD]: hehe, sorry.
[ZD]: but this is big! i think this means we can start!
[ZD]: how about the rest of you? have you got what we need to get this friggin pajama party started?
[HA]: congratulations Elton! I'm still waiting for a few of my other friends to get the package.
[HA]: hopefully it'll only take a few minutes.
[HA]: oh and hello Jakey Little.
[LC]: it's Jakey LIDDELL, and what do you mean by "other friends"?
[HA]: just some of my close friends that want to play in our session. I hope you guys don't mind.
[LC]: but the game was supposed to be with only me, Elton, you, and humanWantobe.
[ZD]: you know something, jakey.
[ZD]: i kinda figured there was strength in numbers.
[ZD]: not hella huge numbers, just like a few extra people.
[ZD]: definitely an even number. even numbers are the shit.
[HW]: Sorry to interrupt, but I'm not going to be playing the sburb game with you guys because I didn't order on3...
[ZD]: go down to the nearest gamestop or something
[ZD]: i'm sure they've got a copy, what with everybody preordering the game instead of going to get it at the store.
[HW]: Sorry, but I live way out and the country, far away from any technological stor3s..
[ZD]: but then you could just..
--humanWantobe [HW] ceased pestering group chat.--
[ZD]: *deep sigh*
[ZD]: anyway, jakey, maybe you should check your mail or something?
[LC]: yeah i guess that'd be better than not doing anything huh
--lewisCarroll [LC] has left the group chat!--
[HA]: anyways, my friends are getting the game I bought each of them. hope you don't mind if they place with us.
[ZD]: Might as well, since humanWantobe just quit on us. So what are their names?
[HA]: there's Jackie, Allison, Demi, Moxy, and Dwight Diamond. Dwight says that the game can handle a bunch of people as long as its cut down into groups.
[ZD]: I guess that takes care of the suggestion that humanWantobe made about splitting into teams... now it all makes sense. I have a feeling that Jakey will want to team up with me, but do you already have a partner?
[HA]: ya me and Jackie have agreed to be partners. Hopefully the others are finished making their decisions so we can get this game go on the road. Good luck with your side of the game!
[ZD]: You too, cya later.
heatedAdventurer [HA] quit group chat with zippityDooda [ZD] at 9:16 A.M.
Elton: Open browser and go to mspaintadventures.com
You decide to space out on the computer for a while before doing anything important.
You open the INTERNET EXPLORER web browser and direct it to what is indisputably the most amazing website ever created.
The new updates were great, but you're not sure if you like it as much as it used to be.
Elton: Install the Sburb Zeta.
You decide it's time for less meta, and more zeta.
You insert the CD and install the SBURB ZETA.
Elton: Press [ENTER]
After your done loading the starting screen, you do exactly so.
Episode 6: HivebentEdit
Elsewhere in paradox space, we examine another planet, forgotten by time.
But we will strive to remember. We examine the planet of ALTERNIA. Somewhere on this planet, there is a young troll.
Jimmy: Switch disk.
Meh, this game is getting boring, let's change it up a bit shall we?
Jimmy: Put in Fandomstuck.
I'd wish you'd stop calling me that. My name is not "Jimmy Cole", it's Dylan Cole. I think it was blatantly obvious from the get go. Now since everyone is gone, let's get serious with the next game. This one is for keeps.
Dylan: Load Title screen.
I hope you guys don't mind. I mean you've seen thousands of versions of the original "Ms Paintadventure", why don't we look at a few more. Thanks to the others that helped along the way for giving me such wonderful memories.And I hope that people still read our stuff for years to come. That being said, you can find the next adventure here: Fandomstuck